Saturday, March 10, 2007

Time Value of Money

Apple and Orange were at headquarters of a big company at Nariman Point, Mumbai's premier business district. Both were MBA students and had come to meet a manager in that company for some inputs on their project.

The meeting went well and Apple and Orange were gazing at skyscrapers at Nariman Point.

“One day I’ll become CEO of this company”, Apple exclaimed ambitiously. Then he asked curiously, “How much does the CEO of this company earn?”

“More than 4 crores (40 million) rupees per annum plus stock options plus bungalow plus Mercedes and many other perks”, Orange responded to the opportunity of showing his general knowledge.

“I won’t be happy with only Mercedes. Also I won’t travel in public airplanes. I’ll buy a private jet at company’s expense”, Apple said visualizing himself in the private jet.

“Yeah, we’ll earn big bucks”, Orange also shared the big dream.

It was time to reach home and both had to catch a local train, at CST station, around three kilometers from Nariman Point.

“We’ll go by cab, but I don’t have money now. Please pay for cab, I’ll pay you later”, Orange requested.

Apple checked his wallet, it was empty.

“We’ll walk to the station. We won’t get time to walk when we’ll have private jet and Mercedes”, Apple started walking.

Both wished for some money, few lakhs if not crores from their future.

-- Time Value of Money: A dollar today is worth more than a dollar tomorrow.

-- In India: 1 crore = 10 million = 100 lakhs.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Innovation Everywhere

Orange, a thief went to a shop which accepted second hand goods. He used to sell most of his stolen goods in that shop, and the shopkeeper was aware of that.

This time Orange had all his bags, small and big, for sell. He used these bags while stealing goods and money.

Shopkeeper wondered and said, “Are you planning to quit your profession?”

Orange replied, “No, but I have moved up the value chain. Now I use Pen Drive >.”

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

God’s Own Kids

Orange was preparing for his MBA final placements. He was putting in as much time and effort as possible to get the dream job. Books were piled up of on his study table; he was searching from his laptop for as much information as he can swallow.

Each and every second was precious!!

Lemon was loudly singing and playing guitar. Lemon was Orange’s roommate and classmate. He had just returned from a first day movie show and dinner in his favorite restaurant.

“Will you please shut up? I can’t concentrate in this noise”, Orange yelled at Lemon.

“Noise? Dude, this is music. If you can’t concentrate that’s your problem. You don’t have brain to study this stuff. Don’t give me excuses of noise”, Lemon responded.

“I don’t have brain? I am the topper of the class. I had international summers. I have completed CFA level 2. I am the chairperson of cultural committee”, here came Orange’s reply.

Orange throws his CV on Lemon’s face. “Look at my achievements. I have everything that an MBA student can have. What do you have with you?”

“Nothing, except a PPO!”, Lemon exclaimed with a winning smile and resumed playing guitar and singing.

-- For those who don't know PPO means Pre-Placement Offer in MBA parlance. Student can get a PPO, final job offer from his Summer Internship company, then he need not sit for final placements.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Future Synergy

Date – 26th January, 2015
Place – Mumbai

CEO of the biggest Indian IT company, Lemon Corp had called a press conference to make an announcement.

No one in the press was aware about what was going to be announced. All reporters were curiously waiting for the conference.

“IT industry and our company are at decisive point. The competitive advantage is not technology but talent. There is extreme competition among all players in this industry for talent“; the CEO started his speech on this serious note.

“We at Lemon Corp have always faced this challenging task of recruiting, training and retaining talented people. Decreasing hourly rate from clients and increasing salaries made the matter worse. We want to double our manpower every two years. We asked ourselves, is there any out-of-the-box way to get out of this situation? Now, we have got the solution for this problem.”

There was a long pause and everyone was waiting for his next words.

“We are planning to acquire FastClone, a company with expertise in human cloning.”

All were stunned with disbelief.

“What is the synergy between an IT company and a cloning company?” a reporter questioned the CEO.

CEO answered, “I thought you would have guessed that!! We plan to clone all our talented employees so that we would never face human resource crunch. We have been closely working with FirstClone for some time, and we thought it would be perfect backward integration.”

“I believe it’s impossible, how you can clone a knowledge worker and expect the Clone to perform intelligent tasks?” a reporter questioned.

“Change begins at the top”; the CEO smiled and he switched on the big screen behind him.

It was live, the same CEO was in Bangalore addressing press conference at same time!!”

Monday, January 15, 2007

Shouting for Silence

He was sleeping in his home. Some noise outside the home spoiled his sleep. He was frustrated. He decided, "I'll sleep only when I get complete silence around me." He came out of home and screamed at people who were making noise. Those people stopped making noise.

Still there was not complete silence.

He made up his mind to find a place of complete silence.

He was beating a drum, shouting and asking everyone where he could get a place of complete silence.

When I saw him, I laughed at him. I wondered why he was looking for more silence. He was better off in his home.

He was shouting in search of silence.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Relationship Manager

I was sitting alone in a café. The café was crowded, with very few seats left empty. A man occupied a seat in front of me. He was near thirty and was formally dressed. I was getting bored sitting alone so I started chatting with him.

I introduced myself. He told me that, he had done his MBA from a reputed B-School and was working with a top bank as Relationship Manager.

Whenever I meet someone experienced person from the industry, I always try to get maximum information.

“Do I need to be a Finance genius to succeed in banking career? “ I asked him curiously.

“No, not at all! The key to any successful career is relationships. Take my example I am a Relationship Manager handling big accounts. I understand what exactly the customer wants. Relationship with customer is the most important factor in success,” He started his speech. Probably after many days he had got a dedicated listener.

He went on and on about his relationship doctrine and its importance to success.

To escape from his relationship monologue I changed the topic I asked him about his family.

He uttered only three words, “I am divorced.”

Monday, January 01, 2007

Economics of Attraction

"Am I so attractive? Why is everyone trying to impress me? This never happened in my graduation college,” She was thinking about these questions in her mind. She was just one month into the B-School and was wondering why she was getting so much attention from boys.

In her thoughts she almost forgot that she was attending a lecture.

Economics teacher's loud voice interrupted her thoughts, "Prices of goods are decided by forces of demand and supply. When demand for goods is significantly more than supply of goods then prices of goods increase even though there is no change in the intrinsic value of goods."

She got the answer.