Monday, January 30, 2006

Google It You Moron

I approached my boss with some technical problem, expecting some answer. He barked, "GOOGLE IT YOU MORON". I didnt got the answer still I asked shylessly, "Whats the meaning of moron?". Again he screamed, "Google it you moron?". I returned to my desk and first googled the meaning of moron.. Idiot.

Somewhat frustrated I left office to watch a movie. The first half was good, but there were surprises for me in the second half.

The hero was asking heroine, "Darl, Do you love me?", A minute of silence and then the heroine replied, "Google it you moron". Because this new gen heroine writes a blog and she also posts about her love afair.

I thought people have got answer for all questions, just say, "Google it you moron".

The angry young hero went to his home, and asked his mother, "Maa, saari duniya mujhe najayaz kahati hai, Batao kaun hai mera baap?". The modern maa with tears in her eyes replied, "Google it you moron, you will definately get his name."

Now I started to hate google, and left the movie hall. All time on my way to home I was thinking, and wondering. Cant I ask simple questions to anyone now? Do I have to search google for everthing I want to know?

I was talking insanely with myself, I was near to my home, standing at crossroads I forgot which road goes to my home, I asked a man standing nearby, "Which road leads to Highway Signal?", The man replied, "Google it you moron, you will get this information on wesite of Municipal Corporation."

Now I cant hear google's name anymore, I was screaming on the road, "Goooooogle eeeeeeeet uuuuuuuuuuuu moooorooooooooooooooooon"

You must be thinking Is this guy mad?, Well the answer is simple. "Google it you moron". You might find my name in on some mental hospital's website.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Whats your goal in life?

"Whats your goal in life?", the interviewer asked in my HR interview during our campus placement. I was foxed, clueless.I wanted to protest by saying that this is an 'out of syllabus' question, but alas! that wasnt my engineering exam, that was HRinterview, the Dinner with the Devil.

"I dont know", I replied honestly. I was scared with the thought that he will now show me the door.

He looked at me disdainfully and uttered, "When you decide to go for a vacation , first you decide the destination and buy tickets.How will you celebrate the vacation if you dont know the destination, your goal? If this is true for ordinary vacation thenin game of life where stakes are high shouldnt you set goal for your life? Or do you wander aimlessly for your complete life?"(He mugged this from some motivational book, I came to know later)

I was answerless, No one, neither my parents nor my 'learned' teachers had ever told that there should be goal for life.Still I somehow answered shylessly, "Well, I am living this life for the first time and I dont have any past 'life' experience toset any lifetime goal for my this life?"

He was furious but more surprised at my audacity, still he answered, "Young man, you should think now that why do you exist?What you are going to do in your life? How do you want to be remembered when you leave this earth?"

I really didnt understand the need of such long term thinking, I have never thought of my life beyond one semester(as most of engg students do). But still I thought this wise man might be right and I laughed at my ignorance.

To complete the remaining formality he asked the last question, "Do you want to ask anything about me or our company?"

I took this opportunity to turn the tables and asked shylessly "What is YOUR goal in life?"

He threw an brilliant answer at me, "I want to be HR head of of a leading MNC and eventually becomeCEO of the company. Also after my retirement I want to form an NGO and give the society back what I recieved from it, to work for poor and underprivileged. And when I leave this world I want to be known as a true person who lived his life fullest."

What an answer!! But I thought was it well prepared and mugged up answer or did he really meant it. He concludedthe interview and as expected I was shown the door.

After that I am still searching the elusive answer, should we leave life by facing day as it comes or have a lifetime goal and pursue it relentlessly.

I expect thoughts of all of you. Please help me to find the real answer. Please help The ignorant, the curious child....

Thursday, January 26, 2006

White Cat-Black Cat

"As long as it catches mice, it does not matter whether the cat is black or white."

- Deng Xiaoping general secretary of the Communist Party,1987

Tuesday, January 24, 2006


“First we were scared of the wolf,
then we wanted to dance with the wolf,
and now we want to be the wolf.”

- Quote of a Chinese Businessman, from World is Flat

The Race of Life

"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle awakens.
He has only one thought on his mind:To be able to run faster than the fastest lion.
If he cannot, then he will be eaten.

Every morning in Africa a lion awakens.
He has only one thought on his mind: To be able to run faster than the slowest gazelle.
If he cannot, he will die of hunger.

Whether you choose to be a gazelle or a lion is of no consequence.
It is enough to know that with the rising of the sun, you must run.
And you must run faster than you did yesterday or you will die.
This is the race of life."

- African Proverb

Monday, January 23, 2006

Mother's dilemma

A mother, who has two kids, one is Stong and other is Weak. The Strong kid can eat very fast and the Weak is very slow to eat. For a long time what the mother used to give food to both kids in one plate. Strong kid ate hurriedly to and finish most of the food and Weak managed to take only a bite or two. This continued for a long time, and Strong is now Stronger and Weak is Weaker.

Now, Weak is almost starving to death, he can no longer live on so less food.

Weak approached Mother and said this (giving food in one plate) is unfair as he is starving to death. Mother listened and now she wanted to hear what Strong has to say.

"Survival of fittest is mantra for me, Let the system be meritocratic, I have the ability(merit) to eat fast so I will do that".

"But you brother, Weak will starve to death then. Dont you care about him?", mother said.

"Let him starve to death, I dont care.", Strong said.

Now, Mother has two options,

One, Continue the "meritocratic" system and let Weak die from hunger.

Second, Protect Weak from Strong. Give him opportunity to satisfy his hunger that was suppressed from long time. "Reserve" a part of food for Weak, so that he can eat and survive.

Imagine yourself at place of the mother. Which option would you choose?

The Dependable and Mr Cool

I have always found very hard to praise people. I must admit that I found criticising easy than praising someone.But during my current job I have interacted with some wonderful people that I was very much impressed that I can only say good things about them.

Let me introduce them.

The Dependable
He joined the company fresh out of college. Eager to learn and contribute to the team, he always performed above expectations.He is a great problem solver and a guy with never say die attitude. But above all there is one thing that i like most in him, his willingness to take responsibilities. "When you take more responsibility, you are giving promotion to yourself", a quote from a self help book.He is the guy I will always want to have in my team.

Mr Cool
He is the manager for the project. I have never seen him loosing control under pressure. I have seen may managers who were somewhere between a dragon and a draculla. But this guy is different. He treats his team members with respect and he knows their strengths and weaknesses.

I hope I can learn a thing or two from these people. Then there will be someone who will be praising me. :)