Friday, January 26, 2007

Future Synergy

Date – 26th January, 2015
Place – Mumbai

CEO of the biggest Indian IT company, Lemon Corp had called a press conference to make an announcement.

No one in the press was aware about what was going to be announced. All reporters were curiously waiting for the conference.

“IT industry and our company are at decisive point. The competitive advantage is not technology but talent. There is extreme competition among all players in this industry for talent“; the CEO started his speech on this serious note.

“We at Lemon Corp have always faced this challenging task of recruiting, training and retaining talented people. Decreasing hourly rate from clients and increasing salaries made the matter worse. We want to double our manpower every two years. We asked ourselves, is there any out-of-the-box way to get out of this situation? Now, we have got the solution for this problem.”

There was a long pause and everyone was waiting for his next words.

“We are planning to acquire FastClone, a company with expertise in human cloning.”

All were stunned with disbelief.

“What is the synergy between an IT company and a cloning company?” a reporter questioned the CEO.

CEO answered, “I thought you would have guessed that!! We plan to clone all our talented employees so that we would never face human resource crunch. We have been closely working with FirstClone for some time, and we thought it would be perfect backward integration.”

“I believe it’s impossible, how you can clone a knowledge worker and expect the Clone to perform intelligent tasks?” a reporter questioned.

“Change begins at the top”; the CEO smiled and he switched on the big screen behind him.

It was live, the same CEO was in Bangalore addressing press conference at same time!!”

16 comments:

Rahul said...

Nice going, Shailesh boss! Twist at the end, as always!

Kneekey said...

Shailesh, your stuff is brilliant! :)

sabu mangalasserril said...

cool blog..stumbled accidentally...

me too a blogger with an advertsing blog.. how about a mutual linking..?

ankurg said...

though the solution is interesting, but the incident does not need take place in year 2015.
IT companies are anyways facing the same plroblem even today in 2007.

Anonymous said...

If you want Rashmi's blog to be funnier, why not offer to write it for her? She has begun to sound more and more smug by the day..

Shailesh said...

# Rahul,

Thanks a ton for appreciation. I hope I was able to write something different.

# Kneekey,

Thanks.

# Sabu,

I hope next time you come willingly to this blog and not accidentally.

# Anukurg,

Lemon Corps , IT companies in India are waiting for such solution but there is no FastClone, cloning company to acquire now. Thats the reason I put it as 2015.

# Mr. Anonymous,

I would have loved to know your name. I agree that Rashmi's blog is getting stale, same-old-stuff day by day.

I write for my readers, so if Rashmi is reader of this blog then I am writing for her even now :)

Anyways I am not in 'business' of blogging like her. Her blog is about knowledge and mine is about ignorance.

Anonymous said...

which is this Rashmi's blog?

Mohammed S Nulwala said...

Nice Blog !!!!! Keep Blogging. Plz do visit for www.gyann.blogspot.com for your relevant Comments

Neihal said...

this kinda scared me...I mean imagine if the journalist to clone themselves :)

Raghav said...

glad I looked back..short and sweet ;p

Epiphany said...

Won't the attrition rate double too.?..assuming it will be equally probable for the clona and th eoriginal to leave for a better offer ;)...nice blog btw!

Shailesh said...

# Neihal,

You can write a new story for that ;)

# Raghsv,

Welcome back !!

# Ephiphany

Different perspective. Probably IT company will put some anti-job-hopping gene in the clone :)

Anonymous said...

is it u or ur clone whose written the blog :)

Manish Khamesra said...

Amazing...amazing...amazing. :)) And gr8 imagination.

Both this and the latest blog: God's Own Kids!

Hey, btw, do I know u? And I have written a new blog...hv a look.

Cudnt reply earlier...busy with the coming plcmnt season...am among the have-nots not hvng a PPO :((

Smart-Alecky said...

yeah. I guess that's the only way now to have more females in my company. I think we should file lawsuits against Infosys, Wipro and TCS for hijacking all the females in the employable or not-so-employable crowd of freshers.

Only if the response time of Cloning could be as fast that of Xeroxs.

Shailesh said...

# Anonymous,

I've yet to figure it out :)

# Manish,

Thanks. Best of luck for your placements.

# Smart-alecky,

Strong words..